By connecting to the present, we realize what we can Influence here & now.

Now more than ever families throughout our neighborhoods in Orange County and the world are forced to sit with the discomfort of the unknown. The Corona Virus Pandemic is unprecedented and while society has been exhibiting great flexibility in adapting to the new status quo, the fact is we don’t know what’s going to happen next. Needless to say, worry and fear are boundless, and even those who usually aren’t ridden with anxiety can’t seem to contain their racing thoughts and are frantically acting upon them in hopes of generating some sense of calm. What if I told you things haven’t actually changed much (aside from the obvious, of course)? What if I told you that we have always lived in the unknown? Let me explain …

Coping with Anxiety and the Unknown is Nothing New

The reason why the current situation is evoking so much anxiety is the perceived lack of control. The future seems out of our hands, and even those whom we usually look to for answers – our parents, our elders, our spiritual and political leaders – are at a loss; a reality that is incredibly unsettling. However, truth is the future has never been predictable, despite our tireless efforts to convince ourselves otherwise. Life has always been known to take unforeseen twists and turns: Our ancestors were struck with natural disasters that resulted in extinction and you have had to use your savings to replace a flat tire rather than pay for the college course you’ve been wanting to take. The difference is, this time life’s curveball isn’t just coming your way, it’s affecting humanity as a whole, which is greatly contributing to the overwhelming sense of helplessness that has colored our social climate. It doesn’t have to though. Instead, you can regain a sense of control by learning how to deal with the unknown using the strategies outlined below.

Learning to Manage Anxiety and the Unknown

Dealing with the unknown is an all-day, everyday task, as life is ever-changing and nothing is predictable, even though it isn’t always as obvious as it is in current times. However, the fact is the only constant in life is change. A realization that Heraclitus had as early as Ancient Greece. Don’t believe it? Think about this: Each day is either shorter or longer than the day before. Every second we are older than we were the second before. Nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever truly predictable, except change. Embracing this concept can provide us with a sense of calm, as it helps us realize that this, too, shall pass. In other words, the current situation is not forever. There will be sunshine after the rain. We just don’t know how long this downpour will last. Until then, focus on the things you can control.

3 Exercises To Help you Overcome Anxiety and Uncertainty

Tip #1 Focusing On Your Breath

Breathing is an automatic process that happens outside of conscious awareness. It happens multiple times a minute – somewhere between 12 and 20, to be exact. Nonetheless, we have the ability to control our breathing. We can hold our breath when diving through a pool or take a deep inhale while a statoscope is pressed against our chest, for instance. This is of particular use when dealing with anxiety, as fear is often manifested as a visceral response. Many people report shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and sweaty palms. A highly effective way to counteract these physical symptoms is the use of breathing techniques, as they activate the parasympathetic nervous system – that part of our body that’s in charge of down-regulation and relaxation, and directly counteracts physical arousal. There are many different breathing techniques. My personal favorite is “Square Breathing.”

Square Breathing: After breathing in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, then breathe out 4 seconds. Repeat this pattern 4 times.

This strategy is particularly effective due to the activation of different parts of the brain: it requires conscious awareness, sustained attention, and short-term memory, not leaving much room for other cognitive activities, including mulling over some of those anxious thoughts.

Tip # 2 Mindfully Attending To Your Thoughts

Speaking of thoughts, just as breathing is an automatic process, thinking is, too. As humans, we spend many of our waking hours with a plethora of thoughts running across our minds. These thoughts, however, often leaves us feeling out of control, as they seemingly appear out of nowhere, linger for as long as they please, and aren’t always pleasant in nature (insert worries here). While we might not be able to suspend the process of thinking altogether (thankfully!), imagine how bland our existence would be if our minds were always empty! – we can control which thoughts to hold on to and which ones to let go of. A helpful technique is “Thoughts on a Leaf,” a visualization exercise that relies on imagery and teaches us how to take command.

Thoughts on a Leaf: Find a comfortable position – sitting upright, feet on the ground, sitting cross-legged, or laying down. Once settled in, take a few conscious breaths – in through the nose, out through the nose. Once you feel a sense of calm entering your body, imagine yourself sitting on a rock aside a lively streamlined with gorgeous trees, the wind rustling through the leaves. Some leaves have fallen off and are drifting down the stream into the distance. As you watch the leaves float away, start placing your thoughts on the leaves, one thought at a time. Watch them disappear. Keep placing your thoughts on the leaves. Know that your thoughts will keep returning. Just be patient and keep sending them into the distance. Soon, your mind will start clearing up and you will feel a sense of calm – indulge in this experience for a moment. When you feel ready, take another deep inhale and as you exhale, start taking note of your surroundings and welcome yourself back into the present.

Tip # 3 Shifting Your Perspective

In times of fear, it’s easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” and “whens” of our worries. We attempt to predict the future, using our anxiety as a guide. This often causes us to catastrophize, and sometimes panic, all the while not being able to accurately predict the outcome anyway. A simple shift in perspective can be helpful in regaining a sense of control. By reconnecting with the present, you realize what you have in life and what you can influence at this very moment. To facilitate this process, make a Gratitude List.

Gratitude List: Think about the things you are grateful for, the people in your life, your accomplishments, the memories you’ve made, the adventures you’ve experienced. Now, think about the opportunities this catastrophic situation is creating – while you are currently being asked to stay home and isolate (and exploring the world has to be postponed for now), maybe you’re getting to spend quality time with your family and bond in a way you couldn’t have otherwise. Maybe you have talked to someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Maybe you finished that DIY project you’d been putting off for years.

While circumstances are currently not ideal, not everything is desolate. There is always something good to be found, even in the worst of situations. There is always another side to the coin. It’s up to us to uncover it. I encourage you to flip yours and take a look.

A few things that are important to keep in mind:

The list provided is not comprehensive by any stretch of the word. Instead, it’s just a glimpse into what’s available when it comes to helping to navigate challenging times like these.
You may find that these exercises are more difficult and less helpful than you expected. That’s ok! It doesn’t mean you can’t be helped. It just means these specific strategies don’t hit your sweet spot. Don’t be discouraged.
None of these skills are one-and-done. They all require repetition and practice. Lots of it. You didn’t know how to ride a bike the first time you got on either, so be patient with yourself. And keep trying!
Lastly, gently remind yourself you can’t predict the future, no matter how hard you try. The only constant in life change. That means things won’t be like this forever.
If your anxiety is overwhelming seek help from a professional. There are many reliable strategies that you can learn to better manage anxiety and stress.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

The unknown is nothing new. It’s been a presence in life since day one. What’s new is the force with which it is showing up these days, creating a sense of fear and helplessness unmatched in intensity. It is no surprise that some of us are struggling more than others. If you feel unable to navigate the current climate on your own, please know you are not alone! Please know your experience is justified, as the situation far exceeds our average coping needs.
Please know help is available. We are here to provide guidance and support through these trying times. Feel free to reach out to schedule an appointment. We are offering therapy via telehealth in accordance with current regulations to ensure everyone’s health and safety. We continue to make great efforts to provide the best care possible.
Our team of psychologists and counselors at OC Psychology Center, know how difficult it can be to cope with anxiety and uncertainty, and we can help. Our office is located in Newport Beach, California. If you live in Orange County and would like to work together, get in touch with us. We would love to hear from you.